a course not my own

path to memphis

2011-12-07T15:37:00.001-06:00

it has been 2 weeks since i have been back “home” in nashville, and it has been filled with mixed emotions. last month was such a powerful and Spirit filled time. it was a great eye opening experience to be face-to-face with poverty and recognize how easy it is to forget God’s heart for the poor when i live my comfortable daily life around hillsboro village-green hills. i would not have traded anything for my time in memphis and africa, but it has also been an incredibly happy and joyful time to be back with my nashville family. i got back right in time to share thanksgiving brunch and dinner with some of my best friends- girls that i have spent the last 3 thanksgivings and christmases with. i love them to death and missed them so much while i was gone. as i have been in the company of friends, out and about in the community, and even at work in the the busy emergency department at vanderbilt children’s hospital, there have been several waves of sadness that this wonderful stage of life will be ending in 7 months. but in those very same moments, there has been an even greater joy knowing and being fully confident that God is in this decision and following Him is what it means to have life to the fullest.

i am thankful for those close to me who have rejoiced with me in this decision to go to memphis. not surprisingly though, there have been a handful who have continued to challenge me or express concern that i am not making a wise move. i wish that everyone could see how good and wise the Father is and how He has so clearly led me through this, because i know without a doubt that God is real, His Word is living, and this is His will for me.

while i may never be able to explain it fully in a way that others understand, i wanted to start looking back at the all the ways God has been in this and laid out the path to memphis. i had a chance to look back at my prayer journal from the last year, and i could hardly believe how much i had prayed about memphis. so many entries showed that my heart has been with memphis for a long time, but i was just scared to admit it. i am sharing this on my blog partly as an encouragement to my own self reminding me of God’s presence throughout the past few years and partly to share with anyone else who might be interested- hopefully also as an encouragement to you that Jesus meets us where we are and is a faithful God.

oct.18.2010

“with him is only the arm of flesh, but with us is the Lord our God to help us and to fight our battles.” -II chron 32:8

for some reason i cannot help but always think of memphis, cchs, and ministry to the poor when i read verses like this. i confess i still have fears and reservations about really doing healthcare for the poor, but i pray that i would trust you and believe in your strength and power over man and any fear from the world. help me seek your approval and not that of the godless. thank you for the promise of freedom in Christ and help me identify my areas of captivity so that i can live the free, abundant life you promised.

feb.1.2011

"on the day the Lord gave the Amorites over to Israel, Joshua said to the Lord in the presence of israel:

'O sun, stand still over Gideon,

O moon, over the valley of Aijalon.'

so the sun stood still, and the moon stopped till the nation avenged itself on its enemies." -joshua 10-12-13

O Father,

I praise you for your power that you can make the sun stand still if you desire. You are almighty and yet so merciful and gracious. Thank you for loving me, even as I fall so short. Thank you for continually giving me second chances, for your patience with me as I keep trying to do things on my own even though you have taught me a million times that your ways are better than mine or the world’s...

As I sit in church hearing messages and as I read “Sun Stand Still” I can’t escape the thoughts of memphis. I want to know if you are calling me there. You showed me so much from my experience there, and there are days when I feel deep down it must be you that places memphis on my heart. Then there are days where I am just so happy now where I am and memphis sounds scary- especially by myself. I am a little scared to admit sometimes that I think maybe it is my sun stand still prayer and my page 23 vision. I know it is not of my own natural desire and if it is Your will for me I pray that you would make your voice loud and clear and that you would give me audacious faith and the courage to obey! I do want to glorify You and serve You, and I want to be like Esther when she said, “And If I perish, I perish.” If I die or if I suffer, I want it to be doing something I believe in and something that will bring glory to You Father. Help me not just default to safe and comfortable...

feb.10.2011

Help me to really trust you with my life. It is yours, Jesus. If You really want me to go to inner city memphis as a single girl, I will- or help me to be obedient...

march.15.2011

God, I can’t help but to think about memphis as I read this chapter. Pete describes Plan B as situations that require more than I think I have, less appealing, opportunities to stretch and draw closer to you. Like the Jordan River for Joshua and his people, an intimidating barrier to cross in order to reach God’s life and promise. In order to see Your power God, they had to take the first step of faith- you did not part the water until they got their feet wet. I want to be the “kind of person who dares to take the step of faith when nothing is certain and all logic says ‘don’t do it!’ “ Whether that means going to inner city memphis or working at a place like Mercy and sacrificing my income I’m not sure. But I want to trust you and be faithful to you Lord. In order to do that, I so desperately need to be close to you. Like Moses’ face to face time with you (Ex 33:11), I want to have that time with you too just as my best friend. Thank you for giving me so many powerful experiences of your faithfulness in the past- that I do know you and can have full confidence in trusting you. God, give me a faithful and courageous heart. Guide me to the right place and use me to serve and glorify You.

july.1.2011

memphis or nashville or somewhere else, help me to be open to Your calling, to have clarity, and courage to follow and obey.

sept.21.2011

Thank you for your perfect timing in this study of Acts through BSF, as I currently go through the job search and thinking more about how I may use the skills and talents you have given me to do your work and to be your witness.

oct.1.2011

Lord, help me be a courageous believer like (the disciples)- that the filling of the Holy Spirit and new identity in Christ would overcome fears of obedience to you- not fearing “the hood” or being among the poor, or what others might think if I witness or speak of Your Name and Your wonders.

oct.6.2011

Father, thank you for your perfect timing- I see your hand in my life giving me just the right things that I need at the right time...You prepared me carefully in lessons from Your word prior to memphis (in 2008) and I see you helping me learn and prepare my heart again before memphis, africa, and prior to completing residency and looking for a job...Thank you for BSF, Acts, time to study and be with you...

next time, i am planning to write more about my incredible time with Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) and how God really used that to prepare me the month before i returned to memphis.

God in all the little details

2011-11-08T10:00:00.000-06:00

i am still hoping to share more of all the details that God clearly demonstrated His presence in regarding memphis, but like i mentioned before it may take forever and i am headed to africa today! but just had to share this quick story from this morning.

so i will be traveling today with a frozen turkey in my check-in (don't ask...) and am supposed to wrap it in newspaper so that it makes it across the atlantic ocean ok. as usual i forgot a few things and had to run some last minute errands this morning, including getting newspaper. i think at some point yesterday i thought- this is finally a time that i could actually use a contributor (nashville's homeless newspaper)...but somehow it slipped my mind. i've always struggled with what to do when people on the side of the street ask for money, and i have wanted to buy a contributor but often don't carry cash or feel like it's a little pointless if i don't get to talk to them or develop a relationship with them.

this morning, i had to go to the post office, bank, then grocery store. post office was stop #1 to drop off a note to dr. rick donlon. it was actually my 2nd note to send him in 2 days at the same post office, and i felt a little silly about sending him 2 notes in a row...but i think God wanted me say more things to rick and also to go to the post office today and meet marvell. when i saw this man selling the contributor i thought how perfect that was. i rolled down my window and asked for 3 newspapers, smiled at him and told him God bless, then drove away. but as i drove away, i was thinking how perfect the whole situation was and told God that it was so cool to see Him in all the little details. why didn't i tell that man that he was a blessing to me and part of God's plan? so i drove around the corner and back to the post office. i introduced myself by name and got his, marvell. and i told him about how i really needed newspaper for my trip to africa today and God used him to meet my need. and that God is using him! i'm not quite sure what he thought about my comments, but he said he is usually here at my post office so look for him in the future.

praise God for his goodness in all the little details. i hope that one day in the future i will be able to know marvell's story more and that he knows he is loved by Jesus. btw, i am realizing the contributor is actually a really cool newspaper...i'm planning to read 1 and use the other 2 to wrap mr. frozen turkey!

alright, now i will really sign off. leaving for the airport in 1 hour and still have much to do!

why i am excited beyond words to be moving to inner city memphis when 9 of 10 people might advise against it

2011-11-07T12:43:00.001-06:00

this past week may have been one of the biggest weeks of my life. it is difficult to communicate in words how unbelievably awesome God is, and if i even tried to begin to tell you all the rich details and walk you through the countless ways He has showed up in the last 10 days it would take hours or days. but it is because of His greatness and faithfulness that i so desperately desire to share these things.

it is pretty cool to go back and read my blog posts from 3 years ago and to see how everything has come full circle. i feel humbled, blessed, excited, passionate, and at peace as i am so clearly seeing how God has painted the story of my life- truly a course not my own.

since my last post about 2 years ago, i took a break from blogging for multiple reasons- mainly because residency is a crazy busy time (both in work and fun!) and even more so because i wasn’t feeling as close to the Lord and didn’t have anything that meaningful to say. thankfully, by His grace and unconditional love, He has not let me wander too far and is always chasing after the hearts of His children.

if you have been in my life in the past 3 years and if you have ever talked to me about my aspirations in medicine, you have probably heard me refer to memphis and healthcare for the poor. after september 2008 when i spent 2 weeks in the hood with Christ Community in inner city memphis, i knew God was trying to teach me something, to open my eyes, and to break my heart for what breaks His.

after graduating medical school in 2009, i wholeheartedly sought after God’s will and ended up in pediatrics residency at vanderbilt...and it has been fabulous! nashville is a very special place- a major city with a small town feel, beautiful, filled with fun activities, great people, music, and cool stuff. i have made some of the best friends here (i may always argue that i have the best residency class in the nation and in all of history), and we have had such a full residency experience- training at an amazing children’s hospital, girls’ nights or going out on the town, kickball championships, sharing each others joys in engagements/weddings/babies...and tears from the hard times or stress of learning to take care of sick children. also, i have so enjoyed being a homeowner and finding my passion for all things domestic- decorating, cooking, baking, hosting, etc...and have felt so lucky to have bought a place in what i consider the perfect location in nashville.

so if things are so perfect in nashville, why would i be so excited to leave it for the rough neighborhoods of inner city memphis? that has been my big question, which God has so clearly answered in the past week!!! life in nashville has felt so close to perfect, but if i am completely honest and transparent the most important thing has been missing...i have not been as close to my Savior and my Redeemer, and day to day i have been living for myself and not for Him. despite my lack of faithfulness, God is faithful and merciful and still has been present...and in the past few years when He does stir in my heart and make His voice known in my life- He would always put memphis on my heart and the lessons He taught me there on my mind. it was scary- i did not always want to think about memphis, i did not want to be called to the inner city...because let’s get real- what is a girly girl like me going to do in the hood? surely God would not lead me there in my singleness.

eight months ago, when a friend (who probably represents a majority of people's perspectives) challenged me to think carefully about moving to memphis, this was my response:

“i totally get what you are saying. but i think there's a huge difference between suffering through a job that you are not passionate about and choosing to do something counter-culture because you love Jesus more than the American dream, because you want to love your neighbors more than yourself, and because you believe deeply in what you do. the thought of memphis is still a little/lot scary but i find more security and joy in God than in suburbia or money or whatever else the world has to offer. that being said- i still find myself torn because i love my life in nashville and it would be hard to leave and there is no shortage of uninsured/medicaid children/broken families here...but i am in medicine to serve the least of these and i haven't seen anyone do it better than cchs in memphis. i'm curious myself to see where i end up.”

i went back to memphis on october 26, 2011 for a visiting rotation. on the night of october 28, i literally cried out to God- not understanding why He led me to nashville and gave me so much happiness there, but at the same time has shown me the brokenness in memphis, His heart for the poor, and the amazing things He is doing through Christ Community for His kingdom in the poorest big city in America. deep down i knew He wanted me to go but i was still scared and unsure if i could give up so much. i know with all my heart that He heard my cries because He has answered my prayers in ways no man could explain. and He has reminded me of the great news of the gospel and that He is more than enough.

since i have already made this too long, i don’t think i can go into all the unbelievable details now- but i will leave a few verses that have been huge and then save more stories for another post. (which may be awhile because i leave for africa tomorrow!)

“The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands. And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else. From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us.” -Acts 17:24-27

“Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” -Matt 10:39

and here’s a little preview, a proud pediatrician moment with the neighborhood kids:)

meet mubaraka

2009-10-06T21:41:00.002-05:00

i've been wanting to sponsor a child for a long time and finally sat myself down to do it today. i've heard a lot of great things about compassion international, whose mission is "releasing children from poverty in Jesus' name." mubaraka is a 8 year old boy from uganda and lives in an area that is affected by hiv/aids. i'm excited to learn more about him and see how Jesus works in his life!

firsts in the newborn nursery

2009-09-03T23:45:00.002-05:00

fun firsts on my first call night in the newborn nursery

did my first official circumcision...i have to say- it looked pretty good
attended my first delivery that i got to catch the baby and assign Apgar scores for
dealt with my first swine flu drama!

one month down!

2009-07-31T22:33:00.002-05:00

today was the last day of my first rotation, and my first pay day as a salaried employee! i really enjoyed my first month in primary care clinic. there have been challenging days and many times of doubt and insecurity, but the good and fun times working with my awesome team and the cute babies and kids outweighed them. i am so glad to be doing what i am doing.

tomorrow is my first call of intern year! i should be in bed by now b/c i have to be up in less than 7 hours to start my 30 hour shift! wish me luck!

God's challenging voice

2009-07-12T15:06:00.003-05:00

i really enjoyed this week's study from "discerning the voice of God," so i just wanted to share some quotes from priscilla shirer that i found encouraging, specifically on "God's challenging voice"-

When God speaks through His Spirit, His Word, and circumstances, I find that His message challenges me because His purposes are always higher than mine. When followed in obedience, His Word causes me to step away from the comfort zone of my natural abilities and into the realm of His supernatural possibilities...

...God wants us to see the wondrous things He will accomplish in us. Don't be fearful about the hard road He may ask you to take. Be encouraged and excited about seeing His divine, supernatural activity in and through you.

this past week, i received the opportunity to start on a new venture with our residency program director- she is starting a resident continuity clinic that serves a government-subsidized housing development in nashville. instead of having my weekly clinic at vanderbilt children's hospital, i'm going to be moved out into the community. i am a little bit sad about leaving the familiar doctors' office tower, where i have come to know and love the nurses and attendings...but i am really excited about this new opportunity! i think it will really help me explore the possibilities of serving in healthcare for the poor and plugging in to communities in need!

God is good

2009-07-06T21:56:00.003-05:00

i keep thinking i will one day catch up on blogging about CCHF and the ways God has spoken into my life...but it's been over a month, and the Lord just continues to do great things that remind me of how real He is and how good He is. thoughts have piled up, but as life begins to get busier i'm not sure when that day of sitting down to compile them all together will come. praise Him for His overwhelming greatness! since the CCHF conference, He has continued to show up in so many different ways- church, friends, bible studies, etc.

i've been blessed by quickly getting plugged into some fellowship here in nashville, thanks to my dear friend V connecting me to her sweet sister-in-law. it's been super encouraging to join ansley's women's group and has reminded me of the blessing of community. tonight continued to reinforce the theme of what i feel like God has been speaking to me for awhile. we are going through priscilla shirer's study, "discerning the voice of God" and although i just jumped in, it's been great. one of the last principles she talked about tonight was that "God's plan changes the course of your life." this reminded me of nathan cook's plenary session the first night of CCHF and all the messages since then...about joshua 5- joshua humbly laying himself down as a servant of the Lord, trusting God's agenda even when we are called to something that is not our original plan or that is something that we are afraid of. the parable of the talents- learning from the mistakes of the worthless slave who was afraid to take risks because he was more concerned about himself and his safety than the Master. and the list goes on...

i wish i could eloquently pull all of these thoughts together, but for now i'll leave it with a quote from another sermon that i wrote down..."the most dangerous place to be is outside the will of God." it scares me and makes me excited all at the same time that all of these things might be related to God calling me into healthcare for the poor, maybe even in not the safest of places. i remember talking to a friend who said how sometimes he knows God is calling him to something- when he is fearful...because then we know it is not of ourselves and we must trust and rely on the Lord. well, i definitely have some fears and big question marks about leaving my comfort zone to serve and live among the underserved?? but i am thankful that He is good and He is real, and that He will continue to reveal Himself as i seek to know Him more.

first day

2009-07-01T18:43:00.003-05:00

july 1...a crazy day at teaching hospitals all over the country. probably a day that i would recommend my friends and family to avoid going to the hospital- but i survived my first day of residency and it was actually a great one! my first month is in the primary care clinic that i did my away rotation in, so it is actually a familiar place which makes this whole transition a lot easier. i came in and got a big hug from one of my favorite nurses that i worked with! she is such a sweetheart and was i think one of my biggest advocates during the selection process, so it was so great to see her! i already knew my wonderful attendings and upper level too, so that was also super comforting.

however, it did (and will) take me awhile to get used to going into a room introducing myself as "dr. liu." it just sounds so not real, and by habit i keep going in saying "hi, i'm joyce..." i definitely have a lot to learn before i will feel like the title, and it's kind of scary! starting residency can be an anxiety-filled time, but the Lord reminded me of this verse last night- "you will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord, is the rock eternal." -isaiah 26:3-4.

changes abound

2009-06-16T22:20:00.006-05:00

after the 7th move in 7 years, and the 5th drive from dallas to nashville in the past 9 months...i'm happy to say, no more of either of those things for at least 3 years! i am finally settling in to my new life in nashville and loving it! homeownership has been really fun, and i have really enjoyed taking care of my place and making it my own- cleaning, decorating, furniture shopping, and all. you may remember the before photos...so after all the planning and envisioning, it's been great to see things finally come together.

the black & white living room.

painted those walls from an awful seafoam blue to perfect greige.

finally got some more wall treatments done=)

i've always wanted a green kitchen!

and my pink kitchen accessories make me heart happy=) you should see all the pink kitchenaid & williams-sonoma stuff in the cabinets and drawers...i'm not allowed any more!

red powder room...i was nervous about the red but it turned out great!

i already love my deck...it's a great place to have breakfast and start the day!

someday soon i will make use of this outdoor grill!

i'm also adjusting to my recent conversion from pc to mac. it's taken me a while to figure things out, but i am definitely an apple user for life now! i highly recommend it to anyone considering a new computer. i got the macbook pro and it's super awesome!

now that i've transitioned to all this new stuff, the biggest change is coming soon! orientation for residency starts next week...i can't believe it's almost here. i am definitely excited, but also having freak-out moments when i really think about it. 80-hour work week? overnight calls every 4th night...8 months out of the year? better pack in all the sleep and fun adventures in the next few days!!!

p.s. CCHF conference was incredible, and i absolutely know my life will involve healthcare for the poor! God is amazing...i'll have to do a late blog post about it soon!

confessions of a comfortable american

2009-05-27T03:41:00.004-05:00

the day spa, healthcare for the poor, and pottery barn. how it all fits together…or does it?

the day spa. last week during my vacation in taipei (apparently still jet-lagged, hence the 3am blog post), i went to the day spa with my mom. twice. there is just something about the day spa- facials, massages, pedicures, aromatherapy…being taken care of, being pampered…it’s relaxing, it’s feminine. and i typically rationalize that i need it for the stress relief. well this time- instead of lying on the massage table, closing my eyes, and drifting off into the dreams of oceanside paradise, i found myself thinking about the impoverished children of korphe, a remote village of pakistan. at the time, i was reading the book three cups of tea, a book about a man’s mission to promote peace through education. also just traveling to different parts of the world and seeing people living much simpler and with less…makes me think about my comfortable american life. how many children could be educated, clothed, or fed with the money i was spending for my facials & massages. is it wrong to indulge at the day spa every once in awhile? still trying to reconcile those thoughts.

healthcare for the poor. this week i’m headed to nashville and will be attending the christian community health fellowship conference at belmont university, which is all about “living out the gospel through healthcare to the poor.” i learned about it through dr. donlon & cchs in memphis, which i’ve talked about before as the most influential and perspective-changing two weeks of medical school. during that away rotation and the eight months before, as well as still now, eight months later- the Lord’s voice has been undeniable. about loving and serving the poor the way Jesus did, about getting uncomfortable, about how being blessed is not about prosperity or affluence or security. through sermons, books, scripture, emails, conversations, conferences, podcasts, etc- literally i have not been able to hide my face from this message that is loud and clear! it truly amazes me how unfathomably awesome the Lord is. but it still scares me too about how i might respond to the Lord’s calling.

pottery barn. just 7 years ago when i was a high school senior interviewing for medical school, i remember talking about my dreams of being a pediatrician, specifically a cute clinic with the décor of pottery barn kids. really, joyce? what were you thinking…to this day i still wonder what my interviewer was thinking and how they still let me into medical school. God’s grace? anyways i say all of these things to demonstrate my own tendencies towards the indulgences and luxuries of american life and wonder what a life of knowing Jesus and being transformed by His redeeming love can potentially look like. as i try to reconcile the comforts of my life and ministry to the poor, i know i am still a work in progress. for now, praying that the Lord would continue to speak through cchf'09. for a teachable heart and for faithfulness.

some recent podcasts & books of note...

the village church

april 19, 2009: "the great cause (part 2): the reason" by matt chandler

march 29, 2008: "death by suburbia" by barrie keldie

preach and heal: a biblical model for missions, by charles fielding m.d.

compassion, justice, and the christian life: rethinking ministry to the poor, by robert lupton

same kind of different as me, by ron hall & denver moore

the least of these my brethren: a doctor's story of hope and miracles in an inner-city AIDS wards, by daniel baxter m.d.

medical school graduation

2009-05-11T20:30:00.003-05:00

pre-hooding. getting ready backstage with Dr. Tiffany Joe & Dr. Cheryl Sanborn, two girls that i have spent countless hours with over the past 4 years preparing for this day! i'm going to miss yall so much!
commencement: may 9, 2009. i heart texas a&m.

getting hooded!

my family @graduation.

me & my sis at the messina hof vineyards.

graduation dinner @messina hof winery.

thomas & AO celebrated with us too!

and in the spirit of graduation weekend, my senior banquet shout-outs...

Because of the amazing people in my life, I look back at these four years and am filled with thanksgiving. My family- Your love, guidance, and support have shaped me into who I am. Thank you for helping me pursue my dreams and for standing by my side every step of the way. AO- What more could I ask for in a best friend...you have truly shared this journey with me. Thank you for listening, encouraging, and keeping me laughing and smiling everyday! Dr. Reddy, Dr. Santema, & Dr. Sicilio- Thank you for believing in me, even when I did not believe in myself. You helped me get to where I am today. CMA/Bible study friends- Your fellowship has meant more to me than you know. Thank you for showing me more of who Christ is. My dear friends in the Class of 2009- We studied, we played, we laughed, we cried…but most importantly, we did it together! I would not have made it without you. Whether residency takes us near or far, you will stay close to my heart. Most of all, to Jesus- Your unfailing love has given me strength, hope, and joy in all circumstances. Thank you for being my Rock and my Reason. May it all be for Your glory.

a memorable last day

2009-05-07T23:07:00.004-05:00

on my last day of school ever, i got to go back to elementary school...with the 4th grade boys for growth & development, aka "the sex talk." remember that? when your parents had to sign consent forms and then they separated the boys and the girls to learn about puberty and all that it entails...

when i showed up to clinic this morning, dr. sicilio told me about our fun field trip for the day, and it's funny how we both remembered very clearly "the talk" from when we were little. he was doing it for pebble creek elementary school in college station...and if you don't know him, let me tell you- he is a character! i got to tag along and be one of the few girls to ever witness what goes on on the boys' side. kind of felt like i was invading a male rite of passage, but it was super entertaining.

imagine a room full of 10-year old boys holding up their fists, and the pediatrician telling them that's the size of a uterus...and to go home and tell their mommies that. the rest of the talk- i'll leave to your imaginations. wondering what fabulous conversations are going on in college station homes tonight. gotta love pediatrics!!!

a BIG month ahead!

2009-04-30T22:33:00.005-05:00

tomorrow it will be may, and may 2009 marks the month that i will become a doctor, homeowner, and landlord...um can we say crazy?! ready or not, here it is! graduation day is may 9 and closing day is may 28.

trying to find and decide on a place to live over the past 2 weeks has been quite the roller coaster, and i had several opportunities to walk away from the contract this week. i woke up this morning not knowing what would happen and cannot remember a time i have ever felt so torn about a decision! but tonight, it's been settled- i'm buying! and i am going to run with it and not look back!!! i can't wait to have a HOME!

aggieland

2009-04-28T21:48:00.004-05:00

"from the outside looking in, you can't understand it. from the inside looking out, you can't explain it."

it's the spirit of aggieland, and it is just so great to be back in my college town. there are so many places around here that hold so many wonderful memories...apparently april is just my month of reminiscing! it's been fun looking back on everything from the past as i prepare for the big life changes coming up. today i went to sweet eugene's house of java to do some reading- and goodness did that bring me back! fondly known as "sweets" or "sweet e's" it was one of the first places we were introduced to in college station when vanessa & i visited as high school seniors. sweet e's was home of thursday morning prayer with my zeta girls, a meeting place for discipleship and bible studies, hanging out with friends, and dates with Jesus. not too long ago, it was also where i frequently camped out for full-day study marathons during 1st and 2nd year of med school (i think my record was 10 hours straight...so glad those days are over!). even the smell of sweets makes me nostalgic- i remember when alycyn & i would drive from the zta house before sunrise, we could sometimes smell the roasting coffee beans from down the street! good times...i just wish all my aggie friends were here too! a few photos and flashback to may '05 post-graduation with zach, vanessa, and daniel...

displaced.

2009-04-26T20:47:00.005-05:00

dis-freakin-placed is actually what i'm thinking! but that sounds a little angry, and nope...i'm not angry. just displaced. here's a picture of my displaced life that brought me close to nervous breakdown yesterday...(AO found it entertaining so maybe you will too!)

i'm in dallas packing for my final rotation in college station- which is 2 weeks, concluding with graduation! that means- need a dress for senior banquet, need a dress for graduation. so i look through 3 different closets where my clothes have ended up at some point during all the packing and moving this year...i find a potential white house black market dress, but it's missing its coordinating black patent belt...and i have no earthly idea where it could be. i think to myself, where is this freaking belt?!?! nashville? temple? here??? a third of my stuff is in a uhaul storage closet in nashville, a fifth of my stuff is still in temple, and the rest of it is scattered at my mom's house in dallas- in 3 or 4 different closets, in boxes, and in i don't know how many rooms! I JUST WANT A FREAKING HOME!!! (have i used " freaking" enough yet...) but alas, i found the belt and everything was ok. and then i decided i didn't even want to wear that dress:)

lessons learned:
1. i have too much stuff.
2. no more buying things, esp black and white dresses.
3. i was not made to live life out of a suitcase. there will be much to be thankful for when i can stay in one place for more than a month at a time!
4. luke 12:15 has been reinforced- a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions!

adding to the near breakdown was some crazyness going on with the house buying thing...so it's not a done deal, but this will be a big week! i am so thankful for the encouragement, advice, and prayers about this big decision. it's going to be great whatever happens this week!

growin on up

2009-04-20T17:22:00.007-05:00

lately i have had a love/hate relationship with growing up! there's been a lot of it in the past few weeks and a lot more still coming. it's super exciting, but a little overwhelming too!

sooo i just got back from the fed ex office...pretty sure i am about to be a first time homeowner real soon! i kind of feel like i just signed my life away- is that normal? not to be overly dramatic, but it's been an agonizing 6 days of uncertainty (mixed in with peace, thank you Jesus) and scary major life decisions...still praying for wisdom and for God's hand to be in this. there's still a lot to go through in the next month before closing- so hopefully if it is in His will, everything will go smoothly. lacie & i will for sure be painting and decorating to make our house super cute, but here's a sneak peek...

a townhouse in hillsboro village, just a mile from vandy- we are excited about the neighborhood!

if you know me, you know kitchens are kind of a big deal!!!

kind of silly...but i got real excited about the custom built-in trash bin

living room- we envision a red accent wall...with either yellow/brown or black/white furniture

upstairs bathroom

we are also very excited about the deck with outdoor kitchen/built-in gas grill and the surrounding green

i hope yall are planning your visits to nashville, friends! prayers appreciated and i will keep you posted on how things go over the next month.

househunt not my own

2009-04-17T14:06:00.006-05:00

i am still learning to embrace life as "a course not my own." this time...househunt style! as i mentioned before, last week my sole purpose was to prepare for the nashville househunt. and i became slightly ocd about it- checking emails from a realtor, looking on craigslist multiple times a day, studying nashville neighborhoods, plotting properties out on google maps, emailing my soon-to-be roomie, and of course...making a detailed, color-coded excel spreadsheet! with thorough planning, the idea was that we would be in town wednesday & thursday and i would drive back to texas today knowing where we would be living. well, i am still in memphis. and it's friday afternoon. and i don't know when i am going home. things did not go quite as planned, but i can genuinely say we feel blessed and thankful to be in this position...a position of depending on the Lord, needing His direction and wisdom, trusting His will, remembering His goodness and faithfulness...

"consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. if any of you lacks wisdom he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him" -james 1:2-5

"trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." -proverbs 3:5-6

"do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." -philippians 4:6-7

despite the moments of stress, lacie & i are having lots of fun in tennessee and enjoying the extra time to hang out! just trying to be patient and praying for wisdom, guidance, clarity & peace...praise the Lord for using even things like looking for a house to teach us more about Him and to mature us in our faith!

just for fun: pancake pantry- we had brunch here yesterday and it is right in the vanderbilt/hillsboro village neighborhood where we are hoping to live!

walk down memory lane

2009-04-11T15:49:00.010-05:00

the move to nashville is just around the corner, and this past week has pretty much been all about getting ready to find a place to live!!! aside from talking to the bank, realtor, and feeling like a craigslist stalker, i have also had the project of cleaning out my old high school room. since i will be in tennessee for at least 3 years and my mom will be trying to sell the house soon, i am trying to clear out my room as much as possible...and i am realizing what a pack rat i used to be! but it feels great to throw things away, and it is fun to take this walk down memory lane at the same time. (some of you jjp friends may have already gotten some old pictures in the mail!)

some fun things i have come across...

my birth certificate! i was born 25 years ago tomorrow- 2:33am at presbyterian hospital of dallas and weighed 7lb 3oz.
brentfield elementary books and memories. in the bobcat/senior breakfast book, i said that i wanted to be a pediatrician and planned to go to texas a&m or vanderbilt...wow!
notes & cards from the past 15 years!!! i can't believe i've held on to some of this stuff- but i have found myself laughing out loud (alone in my room!) reading some of the notes we used to write each other. jenbabe- you have always been the encourager! apparently i was one stressed senior. vanna- wow, talk about drama girls in high school! sexyrexy- you were also a huge encourager and sweetheart. brer- how we came up with "joyke" i do not know...somehow my nickname has evolved into joykie. all our notes are in PINK & purple! zach- you crack me up. i'm definitely trying to throw away as much as possible, but some of these...i just have to hold on to!
all kinds of jr high stuff- bar/bat mitzvah invitations, my flour baby project & album (i was insane!), daily devotions & church youth group stuff (kind of cool to see my walk with Jesus over the years...also found birthday/easter cards from april 12, 1998 when i was baptized!)
pacesetter & dance stuff. i have all these choreographies of dances written out 8-count by 8-count...oh memories! dirty pop, horseshoe, tambourine, hot stuff pom routine, etc.

obviously...i have a lot to do, as i have held on to WAY too much stuff. so back to work!

bittersweet

2009-03-26T21:50:00.006-05:00

that is my word of the day. as exciting as life has been, it also marks the end of one chapter. i turned my pager, badge, and keys in to the school today, and i hugged people goodbye that i may see only one more time at senior banquet and graduation. i'm in the process of packing up my room in temple, and on my to-do list are things like talk to banker, find realtor, etc. so this is how the next couple months look for me...

mar 27-29 AO's ranch, somewhere in the texas hill country
mar 30 move to dallas
apr 1-5 zurich, switzerland
apr 14-17 memphis & nashville, tn
apr 26-may 9 college station, tx
may 14-25 taipei, taiwan
may 28 move to nashville!

it's all happening so fast!!!

MATCH Day: Relived!

2009-03-25T22:56:00.007-05:00

it's been nearly a week since MATCH day, and i can hardly believe it...so much has happened since then! so here's how it all went down-

wednesday night, a big group of us had decided that we needed to plan events together to stay busy and to keep us from sitting at home by ourselves anxiously waiting for the MATCH! great idea...we went out to a fun dinner overlooking lake belton (surprisingly there are some beautiful places around this town!) and then went to a house party hosted by one of our friends. even so, i could not sleep well that night...i was anxious, excited, nervous- all at the same time, and when i thought too hard about it i just felt a little sick to my stomach! i think i woke up around 2am and then again at 6:30am and laid in bed awake for a very long time. when i finally got out of bed...i was too anxious to eat (i ended up not eating a thing until 1pm!)

the morning started out pretty crazy too...i wasn't expecting my dad to be there for MATCH day, but my mom called and told me he was driving! they wanted to meet me at the cultural activities center- so i decided to ride with keisha. well....we were running late (as always)- and as we were walking out the door, beau (my other roommate's dog) ran out into the street!!! he is pretty stubborn when he does this...and goodness, that was not the day for him to do that! he ran to the next street, frolicked in the grass for awhile, and then came back....only to run the opposite direction the second we got close to him...so, as you can imagine we were totally freaking out- we were all dressed up in heels, we couldn't miss the class picture...it's MATCH day, one of the biggest days of our medical school careers, and we had to go!!! call us horrible roommates...but we got in the car, totally at a loss, called nikki and she ended up coming home to find beau. (he is doing just fine now.)

we got to MATCH day ceremony just in time and made it for the class picture! my parents and best friend AO all drove in from out of town to share this special day with me.

we had about 45 minutes between the class picture and handing out envelopes...so that time was filled with taking lots of photos! i think i still looked at my watch every 5 minutes! finally at 11am, our associate deans put on a little production! dr. fallon rolled in with her shades, and she was handcuffed to the briefcase holding all of our fates- the long awaited MATCH results envelopes! dr. mccord uncuffed her, and they began to call out our names randomly...
i could not sit still! i kept turning to AO- "i'm so nervous, i'm so nervous..." well, my name got called somewhere in the middle of the class...
finally! time to open the envelope...
and apparently, this is how i look when i am beyond ecstatic!!! scary! i just remember screaming, "VANDERBILT!!!"i think i was so excited that i forgot to hug my parents and AO? i can't remember...but i know i got up and started jumping and screaming...i looked across the room and keisha and i signaled to each other "V" with our arms. we ran (or jumped) to each other and gave each other a big hug...i was truly overwhelmed with joy and nearly in tears.
then susan came over and gave us the "V" signal as well...so our "Vx3!" dream had come true. we are all going to be vandy girls- susan in internal medicine, and keisha & i in pediatrics.
after we calmed down a little...i took a picture with the MATCH letter. it's just amazing to see it official, in writing.
i put my picture on the residency map in nashville, TN!
then a big group of us went to lunch at pignetti's, a cute little restaurant in downtown temple...by this point, i was exhausted! i really wanted to take a nap but i was still too excited, and i had to get on the road to austin for post-MATCH celebrations! here's where some more MATCH day drama continues...our class was having a dinner cruise on lake travis, and i just assumed that it wasn't too far from AO's house since she lives in austin...so i figured i could meet her at her place and we'd leave around 6pm to get there by 6:30. to make a long story a little bit less long...AO lives in south austin and the marina was way northwest of austin, on the complete opposite side of town- google maps estimated 54 minutes!!! and i discovered this at 5:30 while AO was still out getting a little surprise for my friends and me- balloons of our new school colors...
with austin traffic, i really thought we might be missing the much anticipated boat party...i could just imagine us driving an hour, pulling up, and watching the boat sail away with all my friends, drinks in hand, having a wonderful time- without us...but truly by the grace of God, we made it to the boat just in time!
it was a blast!!! we had so much to celebrate, and a group of us stayed in austin for the weekend to continue the party. it was a fun surprise to see rachael ray and matthew mcconaughey filming at shady grove, where we had lunch on friday!so it has just been unbelievably amazing! i think the best part is that i have totally seen the Lord's hand through it all...even through the weeks that i had such a hard time trying to discern His will and where He might be leading me, i am so thankful because i feel so confident now that He has been answering my prayers and has given me a sense of peace and joy in the decisions that were made. my friend lacie who i met in memphis (she is interning with SOS and we were in discipleship together) will also be moving to nashville for nurse practicioner school, and we are going to be roommates! oh i am so excited! so excited about it all!!!

Vandy!

2009-03-20T13:53:00.003-05:00

so yesterday was adrenaline rush all day long...but I matched at Vanderbilt, and I am beyond ecstatic!!! it was my #1 (contrary to the polls!), and the whole thing is still sinking in...i'm still celebrating with friends in austin, but more about the exciting events of the day, pictures, etc coming soon. just wanted to share the good news- finally!

MATCH!!!

2009-03-18T16:10:00.003-05:00

i cannot believe tomorrow is the big day!!! i thought i would just explain MATCH week for my non-medical school friends. so here's how it all happens-

monday: we get a "did i match" email at noon eastern time...in RUSH terms- it's like did i get cross-cut? so i got the "congratulations! you have matched." and as of monday, i know that i will be at one of the programs that i ranked on my list!
tuesday & wednesday: anyone who did not match can go through the "scramble" and try to find a position in any unfilled programs.
thursday: MATCH day! the day we find out "where did i match." it's a little different at every school, but i love how texas a&m does it. this year we are having it at the cultural activities center. we start at 10am with a class picture, then mingle over hors d'oeuvres, and at 11am they begin calling us up one by one to pick up our envelopes. as we walk up we can put $1 in a bowl and faculty contribute some cash too...and whoever gets called up last gets all the money! once we're all seated we open our envelopes together and hopefully get really excited about where we will be going for residency...scream and hug and all that jazz- then they play a slideshow with a photo of each person in the class, what specialty they are going into, and where they have matched. after that, we have time to go celebrate with our family and friends, and at 5pm we take party buses down to austin and have a boat party on lake travis!

i am so so excited- my mom & best friend will be with me when i open the envelope! every now and then i get these bouts of anxiety and nervousness, but then i remember that the Lord is sovereign and good...and that no matter what happens tomorrow, i trust that it is His will! and there is nothing better than that! thanks so much your prayers, support, and encouragement along the way. every experience in life is just so much better when shared with friends & family, and it has been great to have people be excited with me during this journey. i'll let you know soon how it turns out!

yearbook reflections

2009-03-13T00:30:00.004-05:00

today during our class meeting, our wonderful historian tammy talked about plans for our class yearbook. i just love yearbooks. they are such a great way to remember a chapter of your life, and i think this one will be extra special. another classmate asked us to contribute to a 4th year page by sharing what we have done this year that was interesting, unusual, exciting, or that we never thought we would do...and it was pretty amazing to think back on all that i have gotten to do.

lived with my best friend for a month in austin
stood next to my med school roommate as she married our med school classmate
mountainbiked in utah
lived in the 'hood in memphis for 2 weeks
walked around the inner city to offer oral HIV tests to homeless people
lived in nashville for a month and worked at vanderbilt children's hospital
watched an airshow for the first time
drove to alabama, tennessee, and arkansas by myself
attended my first global missions health conference in louisville
hangglided and surfed in hawaii
shot a gun for the first time
went to the inauguration of the first black president of the united states of america
countless reunions with friends from high school and college
lots of family time, including meeting one of my cousins for the very first time

and that's not even an exhaustive list! at the end of may, my travels for the year will have included- houston tx, austin tx, san antonio tx, dallas tx, college station tx, port aransas tx, memphis tn, nashville tn, little rock ar, birmingham al, louisville ky, utah, hawaii, virginia, washington dc, new york ny, switzerland, taiwan...wow! what a blessing.

ok and for a little more fun with the yearbook, everyone in the class has their own page and next to our photo will be our "doctor signature." we turned that in today- it was funny b/c we all seem to be a little ocd and had to practice our signatures...

tomorrow, we are headed to houston and i am soooooo stinkin excited! i'm having another friend reunion- this time with my husband k.west (we did everything like a married couple when we did study abroad australia/new zealand together!) and then susan & aunt sandy are hosting a big pre-match/pre-grad celebration...it's going to be fabulous, with party bus and all! but back to temple by sunday night for wedding shower #3 of the week! happy weekend everyone!

BAC- it's finally here!

2009-03-09T15:08:00.003-05:00

yay! i'm so glad that becoming a clinician IV (BAC) is finally here. with rotations and 4th year and everyone being all over the place, it's been a very long time since our whole class has been together. so for the next week and a half, it's going to be a big reunion and a time for some last minute let's get ready to be doctors business (basic/advanced cardiac life support recertification, contract/legal stuff, financial planning, etc)...and then it all concludes with MATCH day!!! now that BAC is here, time should go by much faster...there's pretty much an event every day/night til then- wedding showers, birthdays, parties, and other get-togethers. so hopefully my mind will be occupied while anxiously awaiting to find out where we are all going for residency!!! 10 days...

texas a&m health science center

college of medicine

class of 2009

wow- we have been through so much and come a long way since that picture was taken 4 years ago at white coat ceremony!

and p.s. i decided this weekend...i'm going to switzerland in 3 weeks!

crazy

2009-03-05T15:05:00.006-06:00

it's crazy that tomorrow will be my last clinical day at scott & white memorial hospital in temple tx...my "home" teaching hospital.

it's crazy that i stuck a needle in the spine of a 2 pound baby yesterday (i'm in the neonatal intensive care unit)...and that next year a lumbar puncture will become a pretty common procedure that i do.
it's crazy that i can't seem to stay in the same city for more than 5 days at a time. and that i have not spent a weekend in temple tx since early november. and probably never will again.

it's crazy that 2 weeks from today i will know where i have matched for residency and i will be getting ready to celebrate on lake travis with all my classmates! can it beeee here already, pleeease?!

it's crazy that i have so much free time on my hands and nothing that i really have to do. and that i kind of look forward to being busy again.

it is done

2009-02-21T13:08:00.002-06:00

i have certified my rank order list, and it is done. after feeling pretty torn for the past few days, weeks, months...i am finally at peace with my decisions. the list gets locked in wednesday, and then in 3 1/2 weeks we'll see how it all unfolds on match day. it's all in His hands.

did you know...

2009-02-13T14:31:00.004-06:00

it's another free day for me, so i am joining in on the fun...here are 25 random facts about me that you may or may not already know.

when i was 5 years old, i bet my sister $5 that i would drive a pink car when i grew up. i have been a girly girl since the very beginning.
one of my proudest life accomplishments is finishing a 12 oz burger. when you put red meat in front of me, i eat like a man.
i cannot leave a nail spa without getting questioned about my ethnicity. i have been mistaken for just about every asian race, or some kind of mix, and even a handful of hispanics have believed me to be one of their own.
i asked Jesus to come into my heart and be my savior when 2 ladies from prestonwood baptist church came to visit my home when i was 6 years old. i am living proof that knocking on doors and visitation teams are not crazy. it also makes me a big believer in children’s ministry.
the pacesetter of the week dance to a michael jackson remix from spring show senior year has been permanently ingrained into my body. i will break out into that 8-count, esp when michael jackson songs are played, but even at random times with or without music.
texas and tennessee are my 2 favorite states. i have lived in texas my whole life, and i have an unexplainable fascination with tennessee.
pink is not necessarily my favorite color. i am an equal opportunist to all colors. while i do own a lot of pink things, i like red for home accents, i like wearing neutrals like black & white or brown, and i also am drawn to turquoise, yellow, and green.
i have wanted to be a pediatrician since my elementary school years.
in my nearly 25 years of life, my senior year of high school was the most stressful year. because i tried to do and be everything. God has taught me a lot since then!
i’m a little ocd about my settings being on even numbers- like the volume level or the temperature. if the number ends in 5 that is ok too.
my mother’s side of the family is relatively famous in taiwan. my grandfather was a well known political figure and the dean of a medical school. it was always interesting traveling with him in taipei- i remember taxi cab drivers would recognize him. my mom’s cousin is a professional violinist and appears in the movie kate & leopold.
i was the secretary of zeta tau alpha at texas a&m, and i lived in the sorority house for 2 years.
i almost went to vanderbilt for college. they have $500 from me that was supposed to be my housing deposit.
i am the proudest member of the fightin texas aggie class of 2006, but i graduated in 2005 and have identity issues when people ask me what class i was in. my aggie ring is ‘06.
4 year olds are my favorite. i think it is the best age.
i talk on the phone with my best friend annaliesa daily, and often multiple times a day.
i grew up with music as my main hobby- mainly piano and cello, but i have also played french horn and hand bells. how cool am i?
i really like the smell of beer.
for junior high home ec, we did the whole flour baby thing. my friend and i went shopping for our flour babies, and mine got a baby gap onesie. madison jessica liu came with me everywhere i went for a week, and she has her very own baby album. my friends i tell this to now just laugh.
some of my good college friends call me “poo,” “the poo,” or “poo-poo.” it comes from the rush chant made for me by zta: “joyce liu! she’s the poo!” (repeat 3x with clapping)
i get annoyed when people talk about money, income, or “success” in the world’s terms. that is so not what life is about.
i am the baby of my family but probably more motherly than both my mom and my big sister.
caffeine doesn’t have an effect on me, but i love coffee for its taste and all the things i associate it with- great conversations with good friends, productive studying, good dates with Jesus, etc.
i color code life. i associate most things, peoples, and ideas with a color. i used to feel paralyzed if i lost a highlighter or colored pen while studying because that was how i learned and memorized things for medical school. there's a complex system to it.
i will have an md behind my name in less 3 months, but i pray that my identity will not be as a doctor but that it would remain as a follower of Christ.

p.s. update- i got another super exciting email this morning! it has all been good news, but it also makes me realize i need to pray even harder between now and feb 25, when my rank list is due! i so badly want to just know what the Lord's will is and share with you where i will be next year...but it will be another 5 weeks before it's all final and official!

so excited and i just can't hide it!

2009-02-11T14:19:00.002-06:00

soo not only do i get to go home to texas today, but also.....i got a VERY exciting email this morning!!!! i'm going to have to leave it a little vague for the time being but it made me so so so happy and i really just can't hide it!!! yay! so here's to a little suspense...and a lot of patience, march 19 can't come soon enough!

30 hours til texas!!!!!

2009-02-10T15:28:00.002-06:00

not that i'm counting down....no, who am i kidding? could i beee more excited to come home to texas?! it's been a fabulously fun month in virginia, washington dc, and new york. and i have pretty much memorized all the metro stops on my way to the hospital: eastern market, capitol south, federal center sw, l'enfant plaza, smithsonian, federal triangle, transfer at metro center...so much that this place felt like home when i got back from new york city on sunday! but i miss driving a car, i miss big open fields, i miss southern hospitality, i miss texas people, etc.

there will be one last celebratory night with the girls in dc though and i can't wait!!! til then, i'm putting on some country music and packing a month of life back into my 2 suitcases! see y'all home soon!

just another thursday in dc

2009-01-29T15:25:00.009-06:00

i had the day off today, aka "research/study day," so after sleeping in and and enjoying a relaxing morning...and waiting for the temperature to climb above freezing!- i threw on my running shoes and went for a jog. it's been awhile since i've gone running, esp in 30-something degree weather, so i wasn't sure how far i would make it...but how cool is it to just run up the street and be at the nation's capitol! it was pretty energizing so i ran down the national mall and decided to keep going all the way to the washington monument. i didn't have my camera but this is where i was...

and hey- while i was there, why not take a tour of the washington monument and ride the elevator up 550 feet to get a nice view of the city?! this google-imaged pic is pretty much what i saw since there is still a blanket of snow covering a lot of the city.

on my way back i passed by the spot where i stood on inauguration day. it was cool to see it in relation to the capitol without all the crowds of people! fun times, and i got a 4 mile workout out of it too!

well i guess i should go do some reading since it is research day. i am enjoying my pediatric hiv rotation, but i see a lot of heartbreaking stories of children who have been infected with hiv from their mothers. there is one boy, TM, who has especially been weighing on my heart. i saw him in clinic and no one was with him- mom had aids and died several years ago and his foster parents are apparently kinda hands off with his hiv care...he was a sweet kid, and i wish i could do something more but for now all i can do is pray that the Lord would keep him in His hands and that TM would find the hope and love that comes from Jesus, despite the brokenness of life on earth. sorry to end on the sad note, but would you join me in praying for TM and all the children in the world suffering from hiv?

CCHS Newsletter

2009-01-25T18:50:00.007-06:00

i recently had the honor and privilege of writing an article for the Christ Community Health Services newsletter. it was a great opportunity for me to reflect on how the Lord has worked in my life over the past year. what a blessed year it was! as i was walking down pennsylvania ave this afternoon in dc after brunch with my dear friend hayden and her boyfriend, i thought about how awesome it's been to travel all over this past year- working in amazing children's hospitals throughout the nation and visiting family & friends in different cities...and to be here for the inauguration (complete coincidence)! it's been a blast over the past week hanging out with joanna, alycyn, olivia & so many other texas friends/new friends that happen to be in washington! and it's official- i am now done with interview season!!!

well without further ado, here's the article and some pictures from dc if you still have any interest/energy to read further:

One year ago, in January 2008, as a 3rd year medical student I was excited to be finished with my pediatrics rotation and decided to travel to Austin for a fun and relaxing weekend. While driving down the interstate on a dark, cold night in Texas, I had no idea that what I was listening to during my car ride would lay the groundwork for a whole theme of what God would teach me in 2008.

Dr. Rick Donlon was the guest speaker for Life Support, an audio ministry of the Christian Medical & Dental Association. While listening to his story and hearing about Christ Community, I could feel my heart stirring. After two and a half years of just trying to stay afloat, studying for exam after exam, Dr. Donlon’s message reminded me of how easy it is to lose sight of my true purpose in the medical field. By the end of the talk I knew I had to set up a rotation with Christ Community in Memphis.

So many details fell into place in ways that I knew were only by the hand of God, and nine months later I made my way to Binghamton. During my visiting rotation, I felt Jesus’ presence in a very powerful way. In the afternoons, we talked about discerning the call of God, and although not totally sure of what He was calling me to, I could not help but believe the Lord brought me to Memphis so that he could open my eyes and open my heart and tell me that I am not supposed to just start a suburban private practice. There is more to why he has called me into medicine.

Throughout 2008, the Lord repeatedly exposed me to messages and scripture that reinforced what I saw at Christ Community, namely that obedience to God calls for getting uncomfortable. I was beginning to see in a new light God’s heart for the poor and needy and His desire for His children to share the same heart of compassion. God was also growing a discomfort in me for a comfortable, safe, domesticated, American Christian life surrounded by a world with such great poverty and so many needs.

When I think about the Lord and his undeniable voice, I cannot help but to stand in awe of Him and give Him praise and thanksgiving. I am thankful for everyone at Christ Community who has been an example of Christ and such a significant part of God speaking to and teaching me.

At the end of the year, the Lord drew me to II Corinthians 8:9, “For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich.” While the verse makes me think of Christ Community, it also compels me to praise Jesus for being our ultimate example of getting uncomfortable for the sake of obedience and bringing glory to God!

dinner in georgetown with alycyn & olivia

jo & me at the inauguration concert

inauguration day

today is the day...

2009-01-15T14:30:00.003-06:00

that the 2009 Main Residency Match ranking function opens for applicants and programs in the NRMP's Registration, Ranking, and Results (R3) System. so theoretically i could submit my rank order list today! i can feel my heart racing just a little bit- i can't believe it's almost here...after 3 1/2 years of medical school, finding out where i will go train for residency! it makes me anxious that i have to make this big decision soon...but my mantra has been- i don't know, but Jesus knows, and i trust Jesus! still praying that He would align my desires with His.

i'm currently in norfolk/virginia beach, in a cutesy downtown historic area btw, about to go to interview #10 of 11. i can't tell you how excited i am to almost be done with this process. i was excited about "residency rush" but let me tell you, after 9 programs and about 30 one-on-one interviews of basically the same conversation...it can get exhausting. the last interview will be a week from friday.

on another note, i hope everyone had a blessed holiday season. seeing friends & family is the best thing ever and i am so glad so many of yall were in dallas over christmas & new years. i am enjoying more friend reunions in the dc/va area now. for the next month i get to live with alycyn & olivia, 2 of my zeta girls, right on capitol hill. joanna & hayden and others are around too and i'm looking forward to an exciting few weeks, especially with all the inauguration craziness going on this weekend. oh yeah, and hopefully i will learn a few things on my pediatic hiv rotation @ children's national medical center!

love from va!

let the countdown begin!

2008-12-29T14:38:00.002-06:00

3 days til 2009
15 days til dc/va
79 days til MATCH day
104 days til i turn a quarter of a century old
130 days til the MD!

get excited!!!

simplicity

2008-12-18T14:12:00.003-06:00

after driving 1500+ miles in the past 2 weeks, i am back in the great state of texas. although a little exhausting to do 4 interviews in 7 days, i had a lot of fun on my trip and LOVED seeing my friends in different cities!

during the 10 hour drive to birmingham, i listened to this john piper podcast that dr. donlon recommended. it was a really great message about "proclaiming the excellencies of christ, not prosperity, among the nations," and it served as much needed reminders for me. my favorite quote from the talk: "at the heart of true biblical missions is an eagerness to live simply and give lavishly."

i will be the first to admit that i do not always have a natural desire to live simply, but it is something that i am growing to love and desire (i think a combo of living in college station and temple, tx and of course Jesus working in my life!). the idea of living simply also reminded me of another fav quote from a book i read by recommendation of dr. hillner called a minute of margin: "a simple lifestyle devotes itself to authenticity- those things that have eternal value: people, love, service, worship, prayer, relationships, rest."

well friends, i apologize for my lack of christmas spirit in the christmas card sending world...but i have really enjoyed receiving yours and love all of y'alls cute photos, and i do wish you a very merry christmas. i hope that we are all able to take time out of the busy holiday season to simply adore Christ. praying for an eagerness to live simply and give lavishly.

mid-pacific to mid-south

2008-12-02T14:38:00.010-06:00

i feel like i am constantly packing and going somewhere! it's crazy and i sometimes wish i had a real "home," but this is my year to travel and do lots of fun things before the crazy 80-hr/wk life of an intern...so i'm livin it up and loving life!

so this morning, i got back to dallas after a short vacation to hawaii with the fam...and tomorrow, i will be making another 10-hour drive, this time to birmingham, alabama to visit melissa & kenny and kick off my interview marathon week: UAB, Vandy, UT-Memphis, & Arkansas! btw- my visit to dallas last week and the interview at children's medical center were SO great...i absolutely loved it. it is an awesome residency program, and it was SO fun to see my zeta ladies at the hospital- mindy, a pediatric resident, and brandi, a pharmacist...plus katie in the CVICU. i loved seeing friends and familiar places in dallas too, and there is just no place like home. i have a feeling the rank list will be a much harder process than i thought...i am still super excited about all 7 of my interviews that are still left!

well here's a few photos to highlight the most recent travels...

katie, meg & me at cuba libre in dallas

ang & me on our hotel room balcony in kauai

the fam at duke's for dinner
ang, mom & me at waimea canyon

hanggliding!

surfing!

laying out by the pool on the last day

SO excited!

2008-11-20T22:08:00.007-06:00

in the next 7 days, my destinations include...

dallas hilton anatole

kauai marriott resort & beach club

i'm SO excited!!! now just praying that the rain in kauai will go away!

global missions health conference

2008-11-19T21:30:00.005-06:00

where to begin...it's so hard to adequately answer the question, "how was the conference?"- those 3 days in louisville were packed with so much. on friday we were up at southeast christian church from 8am-9pm, after coming home the night before at 11pm! but grace and i had a great time, and we tried to soak up as much as we could at all the plenary sessions, breakout sessions, working groups, mentoring groups, etc. it was also really fun to see friends from memphis at the conference!i really liked this conference because it was all about the gospel- better understanding who God is, what He did and what He has commanded us to do, how loving our neighbors and caring for people who are sick or in need are part of being the hands and feet of Jesus, and ultimately- the glory of God and His Kingdom.

since i can't tell you everything about our trip, i thought i'd just share a few of the main things i took out of it- mostly from my fav talks: dr. rick donlon on "a slingshot and five smooth stones: risk, courage, and the glory of God" and steve saint on "WWJD to change missions today?" (and common themes of this year! yay for God speaking!)

1. missions is about discipleship, not performance. making disciples (mat 28: 19) for the kingdom of God is just like family: raising children, who will be able to raise children, etc. and in the end, it's not going to be about what we did; but about our hearts- how we did it, why we did it.

2. missions is about sacrifice & servanthood, not our own "feel good." "then Jesus said to his disciples 'if anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. for whoever wants to save his life will lose it but whoever loses his life for me will find it.'" (mat 16:24-25)

3. understanding God's glory. God is going to win!!! there are no unassailabe enemies. God's glory is the only thing that sustains- not our own selves, our love for a people group, or the respect or admiration of others.

4. courage and taking more risks. as humans and even in the american christian subculture we tend to avoid danger and seek safety. but courage is doing what you fear. God has told us we will face spiritual warfare, and in a war, you don't win by being safe.

lots more to talk about so just ask if you are interested!

the blackburn family was our host family in louisville, and they were amazing- so incredibly hospitable, going above and beyond to welcome us into their home and take us around the city. we went to historic old middletown where there were lots of cute shops and these pictures are from our evening on the other side of the bridge in indiana overlooking the ohio river and downtown louisville. it really was special to share the whole experience with grace and we will see how the Lord may use us- more than as future dermatologists or pediatricians, but as disciples of Christ.

well that's it for now...next on the agenda is round 2 of interviews (starting with dallas children's next mon-tues!) and then aloha to kauai, hawaii! sometimes i think i would like being a 4th year forever. life is good!

the next adventure

2008-11-11T11:02:00.007-06:00

more things about Jesus i love...isn't it so cool when you are able to look at a friendship and totally see God's hand in it? i've had many of those, and one of them is grace brown. so grace and i have lots of group pictures but this is the only one of the two of us i could find...nothing beats bunny ears for fun & festive! this was from grace & nathan's easter party back in '07.

november 2004 was when i first met grace in college station at a thanksgiving dinner hosted by grace bible church's international student outreach. grace was visiting from baylor and her boyfriend at the time, now husband (nathan), was in leadership at gbc for ISO...i just happened to be there with my conversation partner from china. we met and found out that we were both planning to go to medical school the following year, but who would have guessed- 4 years later, november 2008, we would be going to global missions health conference in louisville, kentucky together! we leave tomorrow for argyle, tx- where grace's parents live and then will fly out of dfw to louisville thursday morning. global missions health conference is pretty much the biggest christian medical missions conference where healthcare workers and students come from all over the world to talk and learn more about using their medical skills to further God's kingdom.

there is a breakout session grid that i have printed out and circled the talks i'm interested in-(grace, i caved last night...the planner in me just had to figure out what we were going to do. plus the excitement and anticipation!) so just to name a few:

"how to make primary care accessible to all"

"caring for the uninsured- ethics, medical practice, and Christ-centered care for the poor"

"a slingshot and five smooth stones: risk, courage and the glory of God"
"from the hood to the hindu kush: connecting the american inner city to the 10/40 window"
"recovering a biblical theology for urban mission- lessons from the life of isaiah"

"hiv prevention in the developing world"

"a missionary's life- is it for you "

"best practices in domestic medical missions"

"refugee health"

"christian wholistic response to child sexual abuse"

"the unmet potential of community-based primary health care for reducing child mortality"

pray that God would use this conference to call more workers to the harvest, that we would all have open and willing hearts to follow Him whatever and wherever he leads- to further his kingdom and to make his name great among all nations! i'll let y'all know how it goes.

a day in the life

2008-11-06T16:42:00.021-06:00

after my first 3 interviews, i thought it would be fun to give you a glimpse into a day in the life of a pediatric residency candidate! so to my business friends- this may be no biggie but in the medical school world we have never been wined and dined like this so it's super exciting to me!

most programs provide our hotel accommodations. in san antonio, i got to stay at the st. anthony hotel, a cutesy historic hotel downtown. i loved my comfy king size bed!

the evening before the official interview, the residents came and picked us up from the st. anthony and took us to the hotel contessa, where we ate at las ramblas, a 5 star restaurant overlooking the riverwalk. the food was amazing!

on interview day, the program director picked us up from the hotel super early so we would make it to morning report at the children's hospital. after that we met more people and had anywhere from 2-5 interviews with attending physicians and chief residents. then we sat and talked with the chairman and got a tour of the hospital and clinic.

for lunch, more fine dining. we had really good tex-mex at mi tierra with a few of the residents, and this is typically the time for the tell-all, getting the real scoop and what life is like there.

the afternoon is wrap-up time, and a fun surprise...i'm finding out that we are getting "party favors!" they are giving gifts that will help us remember their city- like a "keep austin weird" mug and peach salsa for san antonio....and a bunch of other goodies. i was pretty impressed with this basket from a&m as well!

yay for pediatrics! 3 interviews down, 8 to go!

repetition

2008-10-26T20:48:00.003-05:00

sometimes on sundays when i drive from city to city i end up listening to a podcast sermon in my car...so today i did the church on i-35 thing as i drove from dallas to temple (i'm back! after driving from nashville to dallas yesterday!) and it was great. i love when God uses repetition to really help me know that He is trying to tell me something...and it is crazy that i cannot even remember the last time that i went to the same church 2 weekends in a row- yet the Lord uses messages from all over the place to remind me of the same things.

so i flipped through my podcasts- and i was actually looking for this message that i've been wanting to listen to for forever, "death by suburbia" from the village church...but it's been so long that it's not even sync-ed anymore. i decided "bigger barns" by matt chandler @the village church sounded like it could be interesting- and it ended up being such a God thing. the pastor talked about luke 12- the parable of the rich fool, how we so commonly pursue and chase after the wrong things- fashion, an income bracket, a car, a house, "the one", safety, abundance, etc...but Jesus said "a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions" (v.15). what about pursuing the Lord and the kingdom of God?

Jesus says, "but seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well...sell your possessions and give to the poor. provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also" (v.31-34)

did you know that there are 2103 verses in scripture that address the poor and oppressed? i learned that from this message. Jesus LOVES the poor and He wants our hearts to be tied to the poor just as His is, if we are his children. matt chandler made the interesting parallel of the widow, orphan, foreigner translating in modern times to the single mom, unemployed, foreigner/refugees...which is totally right on par with who christ community in memphis seeks to minister to and care for, and what i am realizing is the vision of some other christian medical groups too.

i totally can't do justice to the message, so if it sounds interesting you should check it out. i felt very convicted, definitely guilty of seeking so many things other than the Maker, the only one that really satisfies. and with so many other distractions and the excitement of upcoming interview season- i am thankful for the reminder of what God calls us to and more confirmation that Jesus brought me into medicine to care for the underserved and to bring glory to Him. although i am still uncertain what this will look like exactly and what it means for the next few years, my prayer as i begin interviewing for residency programs this week is from that song: "Lord, not my will, but your will, let this be my cry."

last but not least

2008-10-14T17:34:00.012-05:00

yeehaw for bham! i got my final interview invitation from UAB today, and some wonder why...but i have been reeeally excited about alabama for a long time! it's so nice to have all my dates scheduled now and i can't wait for interview season to officially start- 16 days! i start off in texas, then the southeast region in dec, and i'll wrap it up in dc/va in jan! check out my CRAZY travel schedule:

Oct 30-31 Austin, TX/Interview
Nov 2-3 San Antonio, TX/Interview
Nov 6 (and the rest of the time to fill in the gaps) Temple, TX/Interview (and life)
Nov 7-9 College Station, TX/Texas A&M vs. OU and college reminiscing
Nov 13-16 Louisville, KY/Global Missions Health Conference
Nov 24-26 Dallas, TX/Interview
Nov 27-Dec 2 Hawaii/Family Vacation (looks like my emory interview is getting cancelled...)
Dec 3-6 Birmingham, AL/Interview
Dec 7-8 Nashville, TN/Interview
Dec 8-10 Memphis, TN/Interview
Dec 10-11 Little Rock, AR/Interview
Jan 13-14 Charlottesville, VA/Interview
Jan 15-16 Norfolk, VA/Interview
Jan 17-Feb 14 Washington, DC/Pediatric HIV Rotation & Interview (Jan 22-23...schedule change!) and hopefully a weekend trip to New York!

does that make me craaaaazy?

2008-10-11T13:26:00.020-05:00

so a couple days ago, jen mccrady had this fun blog post and tagged me to do the same! (thanks, jen!) i love getting shout outs from her and she is pretty much my #1 blogging friend who inspired me to make my own blog! this is my fav pic of the mccradys & me- love them!

here it goes...i already know i am for sure ridiculous and this will only publicize that fact!

1. "omg! you look like the 4th of july! makes me want a hot dog real bad!" who can name that quote?!? so, i have a great appreciation for fine dining but then- there's also my love for hotdogs, esp at places like sam's, costco, ikea...where when you are checking out, you see that giant picture of a big juicy hotdog and coke...makes me want a hot dog real bad! and it's always a great deal! who can turn down a hot dog for 50 cents? i have fond memories of the ridiculousness of eating hotdogs with my best friend and my family at places like sams, usually initiated by yours truly!

2. i am currently reading the book Baby 411: Clear Answers & Smart Advice for Your Baby's First Year...and i do not have a baby nor am i expecting, married, or even close! i feel like a crazy person reading this book sometimes, but i am and will be seeing babies and mommies all the time in pediatrics- so this is my attempt to get into the head of a parent! i also bought the sequel toddler 411, and i highly recommended this series to any new moms out there!

3. my car's name is lexi and she has a personality of her own! i believe she has a crush on trucks and is drawn to parking spots next to them (either that, or we live in tx and there's trucks everywhere! reality check...) and for a while she was dating my friend alan's suv, blue steel. she's also kind of a priss like her owner and enjoys bubble baths (aka trips to the car spa).

those are just 3 interesting facts that i am willing to share publicly! does that make me craaaaazy?

it's been a good week in interview land!

2008-10-09T18:58:00.009-05:00

yay!!! finally- after a week and a half lull in interview invites, i heard from washington dc on monday and vandy today! i am suuuper excited!!! apparently there's a ton more applicants this year...they have said from 1000-1500 for these two programs each- and this is for less than 30 spots! crazy!

so that makes 13 interviews on my schedule from oct-jan, and that's still without hearing from UAB (brer-necessity, what's the deal w/birmingham?!). there will def have to be some decision-making to cut down the list. i'm accepting votes/input on where you think i should go, btw! thanks for sharing in the excitement!

miles & music for kids

2008-10-05T22:09:00.020-05:00

it's official! i can now say i've had a true nashville experience b/c i went to a live country music event today! and how perfect that this outdoor concert was benefiting the vanderbilt children's hospital!!! it was also a big day for me b/c i worked up the "bravery" (thanks AO) to go alone...tammy got stuck at the hospital- the neonatal intensive care unit has been pretty crazy! but i really wanted to go and it ended up working out great- i met new nashville friends, and i saw tim mcgraw, jeremy camp, mat kearney, john rich, dierks bentley, and more! i heart music city!

i also found a really awesome church that meets downtown this morning! it's called church at the globe, and it reminded me a little of memphis, which i loved...the pastor pulled up in his car filled with some kids from his neighborhood in east nashville. after i talked to his wife about their ministry to these kids who come from broken families, drug-dealing families, etc, i was thankful that Jesus brought me there after some random internet searching last night. just another reminder of serving the poor and needy and brokenhearted. opportunities are everywhere. the worship was awesome too and the pastor talked about jonah 4 and obedience to God, even if it means giving up our comfortable, affluent american christian lives....wow, common theme lately!

and p.s. week 1 at vanderbilt children's was great!

p.p.s. sadly- nada from residency programs last week...i'm feelin it though, this is the week!

p.p.p.s. get excited! final arrangements for global missions health conference 2008 have been made! grace brown and i are going to louisville, kentucky together in november!!!

graceland to country capitol usa!

2008-09-29T19:50:00.014-05:00

2 weeks sure do go by fast! memphis has come and gone...but man, those 2 weeks were filled with so so much. from last week alone, there would be way too much i would want to update on so maybe i'll save it for catching up in person, and i'll let God's words speak for me now. these are the verses that He really laid on my heart-

"Then he said to them all: 'If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.'" -Luke 9:23-24

"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'" -Matt 25:40

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." -Matt 6:19-21

our discipleship group in memphis- lacie (working with SOS) + me & keisha with dr. rick donlon (left) and pastor nathan cook (right)

so saturday- i made the drive to the fabulous city of nashville, and i pretty much love it here...it was kind of weird walking around the vanderbilt campus today, wondering what it would have been like if i had actually come here for undergrad, like the original plan (but still thankful for God's grace in making me an aggie!). but anyways, the children's hospital is amazing and the people are super nice! i'm staying with tammy thomas, a 2nd year pediatrics resident who graduated from texas a&m hsc-com...and who happened to be good friends with keisha. i've been talking to her ever since i saw her name on the MATCH list for vanderbilt pediatrics a year and a half ago, and today i started my pediatric acute care rotation at vandy. i just know we are going to have a fun month together!

tammy & me at monroe carell jr children's hospital

p.s. a little update on residency stuff...i've gotten interview invitations from 11/15 programs spanning from tx to virginia so far, and still anxiously awaiting to hear from a few more important people!!! i'm hoping for at least 1 or 2 of those to send something this week! pleeease!

walking in memphis

2008-09-21T22:01:00.003-05:00

so this 1st week in memphis has been awesome! ya know that unexplainable fascination that i've had with tennessee for the past several years...well i truly believe it is explained by the Lord (do i sound crazy?!). but for real- we talked about discerning the voice of God this week during discipleship, and i'm not totally sure what God is calling me to- but i believe the Lord wanted to use that unexplainable fascination to bring me here so that he could open my eyes and open my heart and tell me that i am not supposed to just do the suburban private practice thing...there is more to why he has brought me into medicine.

i have seen so soo much here, and i feel God's presence like i haven't felt in awhile. there are so many patients who come in with more than the on-the-surface "chief complaints," people in this neighborhood who are dealing with deep spiritual issues...and to see how dr. donlon and the other docs, in addition to providing good care to the poor, are able to break through the surface to the real stuff and to be able to talk with them and pray with them- about homosexuality, guilt, depression, life...it's been pretty cool. it's also been really awesome to learn more about community transformation as we've been meeting with nathan, the pastor around here. plus we've gotten to see a lot of the city, get to know the people in the neighborhood, and tour the children's hospital here (potential residency program!). it's been super fun!

tomorrow (monday) afternoon, we will be challenged to go a little out of our comfort zone. the plan is that a group of us will be going out in the neighborhood to offer random HIV screening. we'll be visiting crackhouses, prostitutes...guided by a former drug dealer/prisoner turned follower of Jesus, and if the people we meet agree to the 20 min HIV test, we will have time to talk to them about Jesus and his redeeming love. if you remember on monday, you could pray for us- pray for divine appointments, that we would approach those that God may be chasing after. pray for courage and boldness. pray that hearts would be softened to Jesus and that His name would be made great. lots more in store this week!

a glimpse into binghamton

2008-09-15T21:33:00.009-05:00

8:30am- a short drive down the street from the inner-city memphis neighborhood we are staying in, we get our first introduction to the christ community health services clinic. dr. donlon gives us a little tour/orientation, and then over the loud speaker there is a cheerful greeting for all to gather for morning prayer at the central work station. the doctors, nurses, secretaries, translators, students...we all meet, and one of the doctors shares some words that amaze me, challenge me- how often do you hear a doctor praise the Lord after sharing that over the weekend, thieves broke into her house and stole all her electronics- including hard drives with photos of her daughter and family vacations...she is obviously shaken up by this, but she is able to praise God because our treasure is in Him, not material things that He has told us theives can break in and steal (matt 6:19-20...which btw is so God b/c He had just placed that verse on my heart on sunday as i was prayer journaling). she also put it in perspective relative to those suffering persecution in countries where followers of Jesus are made into martyrs- and she is able to praise God, remind us to pray for the thieves and to remember our brothers and sisters who are beaten, tortured, and murdered and whose houses and churches are being burned- for proclaiming the name of Jesus. there is absolutely no hint of bitterness or doubt in her voice about moving to the inner city, she is here to stay because this is where the Lord has called her to serve.

obedience is a cool thing, and so is community...i am learning about these things here in memphis. there has been soo much to take in in just 3 1/2 days...and i so wish that you all could be here to soak it all up as well. backtracking to give just a few of the highlights-

friday: the adventure begins. keisha & i made the 7-hr drive from dallas to memphis, a fun little road trip, and we found our way to the hebron house. we were pleasantly surprised to be welcomed by neighborhood friends along with our host (all of whom are super cool people who are in some way involved in inner city ministries) and a home-cooked feast! it was the perfect intro to memphis!

goodbye texas!

hello tennessee!

excited to make it to the hebron house!

saturday: exploring the city. our host, jon, drove us around for a tour of the binghamton neighborhood. memphis is known for bbq, so we had lunch at neely's bbq (keisha & i are food network fans!) and met pat neely of down home with the neelys! we drove around downtown and mud island, then went to the cooper-young festival in midtown. at night we went to a party on the east side of binghampton...it was so cool to see people from all walks of life hanging out together- from doctors/nurse practicioners of the clinic to recovering drug addicts living in the neighborhood to little ol' med students from texas a&m...we all had fun talking together and dancing the night away! it was a cool picture of community.

a cool sign: "Jesus is the reason for Neely's Bar-B-Q"

me & k.whit with pat neely

enjoying sno-cones @ cooper-young fest

sunday: house church. walking down one street to dr. donlon's house, we sang praise & worship in both english & swahili. a refugee from burundi gave a message in swahili, which was translated to english...we shared communion, followed by a nice sunday brunch at the house. other than my Jesus fix, i got my kid fix and had so much fun playing with some of the donlon kids- running around the front yard, hide-and-go-seek, sword fighting with twigs, and limbo with those same twigs. the rest of the afternoon made for a perfect sunday...coffeeshop date with Jesus, reading, and talking about life with k.whit & tim, a visiting resident also staying at the hebron house.

a view from the front porch of hebron house

today: clinic & discipleship. after a great morning in a christ-centered clinic, we got to chat w/dr. donlon over lunch. in the afternoon, we met with nathan, a pastor who has helped start this inner city movement and who works w/dr. donlon. God has given these 2 men and everyone else here in bingham(p)ton such a heart and vision for the inner city and His Kingdom!

there is so much for my eyes to be opened up to and to learn. it's going to be an amazing 2 weeks!

howdy from memphis!

2008-09-14T00:37:00.002-05:00

just wanted to say a quick howdy from memphis! it's only been a little over 24 hours and keisha & i are LOVING this city, this community. there is too much to talk about and i'll have to update later- but i will tell you, it is simply amazing when you absolutely positively 100% know God's presence and that you are where he wants you to be...and that's what it's been like in the first 24 hours.

how memphis came to be: a personal story of God’s perfect & sovereign plan

2008-09-11T18:41:00.007-05:00

dear friends,
i leave for memphis tomorrow, a 2-week away rotation that has been in the making since january 2008 (and maybe the beginning of time on God’s calendar). i really want to share with you the whole story of how everything has so perfectly fallen into place, but it’s reeeally long. so first, let me give you the scoop about what i’ll be doing in memphis- in case you just want the “short” story.

the scoop- binghampton, an inner city neighborhood of memphis, tennessee is home to dr. rick donlon & christ community health services. i will be going w/keisha, my current roomie, to live in ‘the hood’ and to see real life how physicians truly live missional lives in medicine, serving the poor and those in need- that they may know the love of Jesus. in the mornings, we will be working with doctors at the CCHS clinic, and the afternoons are all about community outreach and discipleship, plus community house churches on sundays. we will be staying in the “hebron house,” which is beautifully explained in this letter which i’m sharing an excerpt of:
“We have named our guest house, the Hebron House, for the symbolic representation it offers as a staging ground for spiritual battle. There are still spiritual giants in our land. Jesus commanded his disciples to care for the poor (Matt 25) and to make disciples of all nations (Matt 28). Many of the nations that are still in need of the gospel are ravaged by oppression and violence. They are not safe places. War, rogue governments, and harsh living conditions stand as giants defying disciples of Jesus Christ to enter the land with the saving message of the gospel.
In our inner cities, gangs, drugs, and poverty induce fear into the hearts of Christian men and women, tempting them to retreat to the comforts and complacency of their lives rather than engaging these problems through sacrificial service to the poor. Just as the Israelites refused to engage the inherent dangers of taking the promised land, many Christians today allow their fears and their self-interests to distract them from obeying God’s command to love the poor and to take the gospel to the nations.
The ‘Hebron House’ offers an alternative. While living and working in the inner city of Memphis you will have an opportunity to live as faithful disciples of Jesus Christ, using the gifts that God has given to you to love and serve the poor…our hope is that the Hebron House will serve as a staging area in your own personal spiritual journey, preparing you to face the spiritual giants of our world through faithful obedience to Jesus.” –Christ Community Ministries
cmda life support- christian medical & dental association publishes a monthly audio magazine for students & residents…it is an awesome ministry! the jan 2008 edition featured an interview with dr. rick donlon on the topic of domestic missions. reading his bio, my attention was immediately grabbed by the fact that his clinic was in tennessee (i’ve always had an unexplainable affinity for TN) and he is a practicing internal medicine/pediatrics doc (i’m planning on pedi only but have considered med-peds here and there)…and of course, missions. i listened to it in the car driving from temple to austin one january night- i remember it very clearly- and his testimony and message (esp the part about the promises we make to God before starting med school…b/c it’s all about him) really struck me, the stirring in the heart business like i’ve mentioned before. i emailed him a couple days later…and here we are.

joshua 1:9- so at the very beginning i was soo stinkin excited, telling everyone around me about it and envisioning this rotation, going to memphis, loving it…going there for residency, working at st.jude’s, etc. but then a couple days into it, i thought a little more and fear began to creep up on me. what’s a young, single, not-super-strong, north-dallas-raised somewhat-of-a-priss (i admit it) kind-of-girl like me going to do in ‘the hood’? (you can pray with me that God would break stereotypes). well at that time i was studying the book of joshua with my friend leelee…and how perfect that Jesus was teaching me about joshua’s fearless leadership and reassuring me, “be strong and courageous. do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”
babyland- on aug 22, i just happened to be at home when 20/20 aired a show called babyland, featuring memphis TN...talking about how it has one of the nation's poorest zip codes and one of the nation's highest infant mortality rates. A CCHS clinic was shown...and the Lord continued to place a burden on my heart for the poor and prepare my heart for going to the inner city of memphis.

the vista- throughout this time from jan 08 to now, the pastors at my church in temple have been sharing messages about getting uncomfortable and being obedient to God’s commands to be fishers of men (mark 1), to preach the good news to the poor, to bind up the brokenhearted (isaiah 61)...about dreaming big for a big God and the gospel of salvation.

more to come- because of this opportunity in memphis, i am praying about more opportunities and more direction from God. there’s a whole other story about how my upcoming pediatric hiv infection rotation at children’s national medical center in dc fell into place, and i am praying about an international mission trip for spring 2009. even more, i am praying that God continues to reveal his will for how He desires to use me to bring glory to him…it is sometimes scary, b/c honestly there are times when the comfortable life of a physician in american suburbia sounds just fabulous (and where i know and believe God really uses people there as well). but i know walking in obedience to Jesus is truly the abundant life, filled richly with real joy and love. it is also scary to share these thoughts with others because it makes me accountable, but that’s the beauty of it as well. would you pray with me? and keep me accountable?

i almost died today...

2008-09-10T22:48:00.033-05:00

actually it was 2 days ago, but "i almost died 2 days ago" doesn't sound quite as exciting as "i almost died today!" let's just say- joyce liu + mountain biking = danger!!!

i'm now back from my vacation and had a blast hangin out with family in beautiful utah! after my cousin's wedding, my mom & 2 of her sisters + my sis & i drove all around utah- it felt like secrets of the lee-liu sisterhood or sisterhood of the traveling pants (haven't actually seen that movie but "sisters traveling" sounds like us!)...we had so much fun exploring bryce canyon & arches national parks and just spending time together. i love being reminded of God's glory and wonder when i am surrounded by mountains and beautiful nature that he has created!

so mountain biking...apparently moab, utah is famous for mountain biking. and ang, my big sis, brings out the outdoor adventure seeker in me. if it weren't for her, i would have never gone surfing in maui, snowshoeing in colorado...or moutain biking in moab. so even after my traumatic bike crash in elem school, i agreed to go mountain biking w/her...on the intermediate course. please note, joyce liu has not been on a moving bicycle since that traumatic crash...umm like 15 years ago. the only "cycling" i've done is maybe 3 spinning classes in the past 5 years. needless to say- our tour guide was speechless when he asked me how much mountain biking experience i had...as he was driving us to klondike bluffs, the terrain requiring intermediate mountain biking technique. i was up for a challenge though, sometimes i think i can do anything...but after getting my untrained self on the bike and approaching lots of rocks, sand, slopes and dips in the mountain........yeah, that was the most scared i have been in at least 5 years! the sympathetic nervous system was out of control!!! but my near-death experience was after i had gathered a bit more confidence- i went flying downhill on a steeper part of the mountain and for a good 10 seconds i just knew i was going to crash or fly off the cliff...and die! ok, so maybe i'm a little dramatic...but even our tour guide was freakin out, but calmly yelling "easy brakes, easy brakes!" anyways, by the grace of God i did not crash and i am alive today, in one piece! and actually the rest of the ride was awesome! i felt 300% more comfortable by the end of the trail and brooks, our guide, and ang were pretty impressed with how well i did for being thrown into the intermediate course! thanks for your encouragement, sis! it was a lot of fun and def the most memorable experience of the trip.

back to texas now. but the excitement never ends! #1- i got an iPhone today and it is the coolest thing ever! #2- i leave for memphis on friday!!!!!!!! i'll tell ya all about it tomorrow. #3- after memphis is nashville, after nashville is interview season, after interview season is washington, dc. and after dc is MATCH! i love 4th year!!!!

first interview invite!!!!!

2008-09-03T15:36:00.005-05:00

more good stuff from the inbox this morning! i got my very first invitation to interview for residency........from d-a-l-l-a-s!!!!!! whoooop! what a great way to start interview season!

now i have to go pack for the next 7 weeks of life- which includes a wedding, hiking and other national park activities, working at clinics/hospitals, etc! if you know me, you know i am extremely challenged at packing- and to think about clothing decisions for fall weather in tennessee? wish me luck! goodbye temple, tx. see you again at the end of october.

good stuff from my inbox today

2008-09-02T21:52:00.008-05:00

my favorite line from this message (see below) and one of the best lessons God taught me from high school to college: "it is not what we do that determines who we are, but rather it is who we are that determines what we do."
and p.s. get excited!!! myERAS (the online residency application service) opened today and the applications are IN! it's the game of waiting now...(fyi- the whole MATCH process is pretty much like extended sorority RUSH for residency. MATCH day=BID day=march 19, 2009!)

CMDA Weekly Devotion - Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Core Values

During a recent campus visit with my daughter seeking a nursing education, I asked the chairperson of the nursing department, “How do you integrate principles of the Christian faith into the educational curriculum?” The woman who chaired the department, with a doctorate in nursing, looked at me as if somewhat surprised by my question. She responded, “I don’t think you understand how we structure our curriculum here. There is only one foundation, and that is our Christian faith. Therefore, we integrate our healthcare curriculum into our Christian faith. Healthcare is a ministry founded on our Christian faith, not the other way around.”
- Dr. Steve Sartori

As Christian doctors, we should formulate and articulate a set of values or principles defining the context within which we make decisions. For the Christian doctor, these values or principles should be based upon the Scriptures. One Christian medical group in Kentucky has developed a set of seven core values or principles that guide their decision making and strategic planning: Think of your own practices as you review these values.
MINISTRY: “Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness” (Matt. 9:35).
MEDICINE: “And wherever he went—into villages, towns or countryside—they placed the sick in the marketplaces. They begged him to let them touch even the edge of his cloak, and all who touched him were healed” (Mark 6:56).
MISSIONS: “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you...” (Matt. 28:19-20).
MENTORING: “You then, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable men who will also be qualified to teach others” (2 Tim. 2:1-2).
MARRIAGE AND FAMILY: “He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect” (1 Tim 3:4).
MARGIN: “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven” (Eccl. 3:1).
MONEY: “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matt. 6:21).
The greatest challenge for us as Christian doctors today is our integration of the presence of Christ into our everyday practice as doctors. How we accomplish this integration will vary with our models of clinical and academic practice, but certain principles apply across the medical and dental disciplines that can guide us in this most essential endeavor. These principles begin with the clear understanding that it is not what we do that determines who we are, but rather it is who we are that determines what we do. Attitudes impact actions; beliefs determine behavior; character affects conduct; and, doctrine produces deeds. This is true for our lives at home and it is absolutely true for our lives at the office. Have you developed a set of core values that make your work God’s handiwork? Consider writing them out and posting them on your office wall.
Dear God,Let me live at work such that those who encounter me know that You are Lord. Amen.
*Adapted from Practice by the Book.
You can read all CMDA weekly devotions online at http://www.cmda.org/weeklydevotion.

a few (long-winded) steps back

2008-08-31T15:17:00.008-05:00

this morning was one of those times of worship where i could feel my heart stirring the entire service! i LOVED it! to keep it short- the basic message i got was “God is so BIG! the gospel is so BIG! so how did american christianity become so domesticated, safe, comfortable?” this has been something God has been showing me, esp this year as i prepare for my future career plans- to dream BIG and to get UNcomfortable...it was so great to be back at my “home” church, the vista, for the first sunday in over a month! in 3rd and 4th yr of med school it is hard to feel like you have a church home because half the sundays- you are working at the hospital, on call, post-call…or in another city! next sunday i will be at arches national park in utah, and in 2 sundays i will be at a house church in inner city memphis!!! if i haven’t filled you in on the details, it will be coming soon, but first some background…

so let me explain a little more this “course not my own.” as much as i like to say i am laid back, i am really a planner. i love to plan plan plan! this journey of God changing my plans starts with me ending up at texas a&m for college. as my high school friends may remember, i had my heart set on going out of state and i was so excited about vanderbilt! only a couple weeks after sending in my $500 deposit, i got a call from the college of medicine at a&m- they had a spot for me in their combined undergrad/med school program. and in the end, it wasn’t my plan but i just couldn’t turn it down. now i know it was truly the Lord who brought me to aggieland and i can’t imagine life any other way!

since the 1st grade i knew that Jesus loved me and i loved him...with all my heart. but it wasn’t until life at a&m that i realized what it meant to be IN love with Jesus. my first mission trip to east asia with a team from grace bible church (that’s their pic below) was by far the most amazing experience of my life! that is the point when i became captivated by Jesus, totally satisfied by him, but still yearning to have a closer relationship with him.

aggieland is also where i met dr. ken hillner- the first doctor i really worked with, and from day one- i learned that medicine is ministry. i saw that he was a member of christian medical & dental association and there were mission statements in the clinic about Christ, which sparked the beginning of a great mentorship. from my first clinical experiences, i learned to pray for my own attitude before seeing patients, to pray with patients and for patients, and to share God’s Word with patients. how awesome is that! i can’t even begin to list all the other amazing people that God placed in my life in college station and temple, tx- of all places…but i see his hand everywhere and i have been blessed! from things that only the Lord could have done, i feel a strong calling to serve Him through medicine.

so those are the highlights and the need-to-know, to give you a better sense of where i'm coming from…stay tuned for tennessee adventures, coming soon! i can't wait!!!!!

step number one

2008-08-30T14:21:00.000-05:00

i'm taking the big step! joining the community of bloggers! for the past couple years i have enjoyed life updates here and there from my friends' blogs. well now, it is my last year of medical school and it is a year of exciting adventures, anticipation for the future...and a lot more free time!

in a little over 8 months, i will be walking the stage again at beloved texas a&m university- this time getting my m.d. and heading off to a new place to start a residency in pediatrics. i am in awe of how the Lord has brought me here. when i look back over the years, this was not a course my own. i am thankful for God's grace, his sovereignty, and his infinite wisdom- that have paved each step of this path...and that give me abounding joy and peace for what is to come, knowing that he always does immeasurably more than i can ask or imagine (eph 3:20-21).

looking forward to sharing life's journeys with you. more to come later, friends.